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The Most Dramatic Consequence of Low Self-Esteem

One of my business partners, Pieter van der Gulik, shared a dramatic story with me yesterday.  He asked me to pass it along in the hope that you would gain strength from it and realize how very special you really are. This heartbreaking story is one that I encourage you to read carefully and to ponder the impact it can have on your life.

This is what Pieter sent me and asked me to share with you:

Joe, last week I was shocked by how a lack of self-esteem can damage so many lives! One of my dear friends, Jeroen didn’t have much self-esteem. He was a really nice guy, I mean a really, really nice guy. Everybody in our little village liked him. He was genuinely interested in people, he could be really fun; he was a strong family man, a social guy on his sports’ team and a hard and reliable worker. However, Jeroen was a little shy. He was not much of a talker and although he had such a great personality, he was having difficulty connecting with girls and starting conversations, let alone entering into a relationship with someone special - although he wanted this terribly. Jeroen was only 24 years old.

The origin of Jeroen’s shyness and his challenges with women resided in his lack of self-esteem. His self-image was simply not as strong as the truly magnificent person that he really was. No one ever diagnosed nor helped him overcome his self-esteem challenge. Even Jeroen himself might not have been fully aware of his diminished lack of self-esteem, simply because he didn’t know any better. Like so many people I see out there, he tried to compensate for what he perceived to be his deficiencies. One way he ‘coped’ was by drinking an occasional beer which helped to ‘loosen him up’ a little.

On the night of April 14 2006, one of the most shocking things I have ever seen in my life happened! Jeroen had spent the evening with his friends - he first visited his friend Stephan to see his new house. They had a nice evening. Around 1 AM they decided to go to a local bar to chat further. Everybody had a great time (at least it looked that way). At 3AM when everybody was gone, Jeroen noticed that he didn’t have the keys to his parents’ house. Since he didn’t want to disturb his parents, who he had disturbed all too often in the middle of the night, he text messaged a few friends to see if he might sleep at their place for a few hours until he had to go to work.

No-one responded since it was around 3 to 4AM. Whatever happened after these hours no-one knows and no-one will ever know. Jeroen, the seemingly happy guy, must have had a hard time dealing with the challenge of his situation. He wasn’t drunk although he had consumed a few drinks. But at 5:30AM he threw himself in front of the day’s first train. He died leaving countless questions unanswered.

This past Tuesday, I went to church to attend Jeroen’s funeral service. Jeroen was such a popular guy that over 1,000 people attended and came to church to support the family and friends that he left behind and to say ‘goodbye’ to him for the last time. It was unreal to see his closest friends laying roses at the coffin. It was unreal to hear a thousand people weeping. It is unreal to witness how big the shock is that goes through the little village of 3,000 people that I live in. It is unreal how much pain and loss and emptiness has been felt in our little community in the last few days.

In the hearts of these thousand people the #1 most important question was: “WHY has this happened?” And the saddest part is that no-one will ever really know…..

The reason I decided to share this story with you is that I have been in the exact same position as Jeroen was. And you might be there too in one way or another sometime in your life. Like Jeroen, I have been shy too. Like Jeroen, I have had trouble feeling attractive too. Like Jeroen I tried to compensate for how I felt about myself by escaping from reality.

In what ways are you? 85% of us have some type of self-esteem deficit. I am a firm believer that Jeroen could have gotten out of his trouble by improving his self-image and reclaiming his self-esteem. I am a firm believer that we all can save ourselves a lot of pain, anger, frustration, upset and turmoil by empowering ourselves to heal the past and restore our self-esteem level.

So in conclusion, I’d like to ask you a few questions from the bottom of my heart.
1) Are you 100% happy with your life?
2) Like most people, if you are not, could the origin of your not being fulfilled be due to diminished self-esteem?
3) What could you do today to increase your self-esteem and impact the #1 cause of much of the pain and frustration in your life?

As you may know, in the past 15 years, Dr. Joe Rubino has personally coached over a thousand people to improve their quality of life. For the vast majority of them, this process begins with assisting them to improve their level of self-esteem.

Recently Dr. Joe has put the success formula for improving one’s level of self-esteem into writing in the form of a valuable comprehensive book and workbook.  In order to see if this book is something for you, test your self esteem level now! Recently Dr. Joe Rubin and I have created a preliminary test to quickly and easily value your level of confidence and self esteem. The test can be found here:

Let’s learn a lesson from this extreme example. Having more self esteem is results in more self worth a better self image and more positive associations. Therefore having more self esteem directly affects everything you say and do in your life. All successful people do have both extreme competence and confidence in their success area. Let’s allow ourselves to the best we can be and to live the highest quality of life we can get – we owe it to ourselves.

By Pieter van der Gulik
COO of and

PS. I asked Dr. Joe to allow me to share Jeroen’s story with you in the hope that it may inspire you to see that there is always hope, always a way out of whatever challenges we might face. Living with the pain of diminished self-esteem is unnecessary when you learn how to reclaim your self-esteem and feel good about who you are.

PPS.  We all know someone whose self-esteem level is not what it should be. If you believe this book might benefit someone important to you, please forward this e-mail to them so they might benefit from the Self-Esteem Book program.

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